wwjd now?

I was in the shower the other day, shampooing my hair, when i noticed that it seems my shampoo never runs out. I started to wonder, am I god?
After that trivialization, I began to ponder, if Jesus were alive today, would he perform miracles for modern and mundane things? Such as:

Would he buy the small bottle of shampoo that's only supposed to last 1 week, and have it last 7 or 8 with some more left over?

Would he change water into beer or (better yet) whiskey?

When he died, and his apostles gathered in hiding and spoke in tongues, would one of the tongues be Klingon?